Here Lies the 2009-10 New England PatriotsFOXBORO, MA -- The New England Patriots, one of the most storied franchises in the last decade, died yesterday of not showing up, according to 68,000 fans who booed them off the field admist angry demands for refunds.

I used to write obits for the Boston Globe when I first started out. I hated writing them. I especially hate writing them for my favorite sports team, the New England Patriots, mostly because it means no more football that matters. Again, it means no more football that I care to watch because I hate all other teams that matters.

It hurts; not like a paper cut or a rolled ankle. It's more like a swift kick in the groin. Twice.

The first play from scrimmage and the Ravens take it to the house.

Yes. To. The. House. TO THE @#&@% HOUSE!

The stadium was already booing ok after the first play, however the health of the franchise quickly deteriorated once that firs tseven went up on the board quicker than a kid asking for candy at the check out line. Little did we know, the team that Coach Bill built was going to flatline and do so quickly. Addomg to or misery would be the fact that the flatline would happen in the first quarter.

Yea, the first quarter.