All husbands will chuckle and nod when they read this post. It's about the 3pm telephone call from the wife. You know what I'm talking about:
You: "Hello."
Wife: "Hey hon, how's your day going?"
You: "Good. You?"
Wife: "Good. What time are you coming home?"
You: "Ah, not sure. The usual I'm guess."
Wife: "Ok. What do you want for dinner?"
You: "Not sure. Whatever is fine. Doesn't matter."
Wife: "Ok, I'll whip something up. Call me when you're leaving."
You: "Ah, ok. Will do."
Now, here's what's really being said.
You: "Jesus. How many frickin' times is she going to call me today?"
Wife: "Hey I know you're in the middle of something important, but I've been at home all day with this crazy ass kids. Can you give me a little adult phone time?"
You: "Great timing honey. Seriously. I don't have time for this chit chat crap."
Wife: "I'm really calling to find out when you're coming home. I'm starting to go batty and need adult interaction."
You: "I'm coming home at the same time I come home every night. Why are you bothering me with the question, yet again."
Wife: "Because I can, that's why. What the hell do you want for dinner?"
You: "I'd really like to have a fillet, but we'll settle for some of that nasty chicken you mother taught you to make because god forbid we try something from MY mother's cook book."
Wife: "Ok, I'll make that chicken I know you love so much and you'll thank me for it with each bite. You better call me before you leave because you're not allowed to go out boozing with the guys at work."
You: "Looking forward to getting some couch time because I know all you'll be doing is playing Farmville."